How to Handle 30?

I'm two weeks away from turning 30.  I remember sitting at a cafe with my friend M. in L.A. back in December and we were talking about how we were going to embrace it, that 30 would be awesome and had nothing to be afraid of.  M. just turned 30 yesterday and another good friend turned 30 the week before.  And now that mine is around the corner, I'm freaking out.  Where is that confidence and devil-may-care attitute I had just 6 months ago?

I feel like 30 is a significant milestone.  I felt the same way about 25, 21, 18 and 16.  And maybe 30 feels like such a big deal because after 30, the next age milestone (in my eyes) is 40, then 50, 60, etc.  That's a long time in between milestones.  I don't think my Aussie gets it.  He just asked me last night to please not freak out about it, which is exactly what I am doing.  And he just turned 25 so what does he know about 30.  He won't realize the significance until he's 29, and maybe not even then.  Maybe it's different for guys.

I think what will be the hardest for me is that my best friends and family will be so far away from me on my birthday.  I remember for my friend J.'s 30th I was living in New York but I planned a surprise party with her mother-in-law in Florida, then flew down the day before to help with the festivities.  I didn't tell J. I was coming and then surprised her at her party.  And it was so cool to be a part of that day with her. 

So there's a lot of pressure on my Aussie at this point.  I've inflicted it, I'll admit.  I've made comments that this birthday needs to be the best ever to make up for not being home and not having the people that I really love and care about with me.  That it needs to be huge, monumental, something to really write home about.  I've created this major 30-year-old monster that's taking over and I don't know what to do now.  I know that I've set myself up for potential disappointment.

I know it's silly but I think what I'm most afraid of is that it won't be significant at all.  That it will be just another birthday, just another day and I don't want to accept that.  I want fuss.  I want to fuss over my 30th and if I have to make it major myself than so be it.  What I have to remember is that being 30 will be much more than just the day that it actually happens, it will be the whole year from July 8 onwards.  My 30th year will include my first year in Sydney, my first solid year with my Aussie. It could include a potential career change, maybe the purchase of a home, definitely getting out of debt, and hopefully making new friends that will help me make a fuss over 31.  I guess at the end of the day, I have to handle 30, not let 30 handle me.